Your Lack of “Discipline” is Not the Problem

The dictionary definition of discipline is “an orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior and a form of self-control.” But at some point, people changed that definition up to “an orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior and a form of self-control that directly impacts how successful you will be.” And we hate everything about that.

Discipline stopped being an optional tool that we could implement and leverage when, where and if we wanted, and became a mandatory ingredient for success. But, the way we see it, discipline is one way (of many) to achieve success. And the idea that it is the ultimate way to measure success and self-worth is limiting, outdated and unrealistic. 

The concept of discipline is nice in theory, but it doesn’t take into consideration our human experiences. It doesn’t account for neurodivergence, it doesn’t allow for fluidity or flexibility, and it definitely doesn’t leave a ton of room for creativity. Instead, it demands maximum output, presence, and participation at all times. It is rigid and leaves little room for error, which ultimately leaves us feeling…well…shitty.

And that is exhausting AF.

How about if instead of falling into the trap of toxic productivity and chasing discipline, you reconsidered your own definition of discipline? What if, instead of holding yourself to some capitalist standard, you found a way of working that connects with your needs and experiences? What if you could get shit done in ways that feel natural and work knowing that it’s ok (actually it’s great) to adjust your routines to match your motivations?

Well–we know it’s possible. And it all starts with unlearning a thing or two about discipline and productivity.

discipline doesn’t equal your worth

Here is what capitalism wants you to believe: 

Discipline = success. Success = worth. So obviously, Discipline = Worth.

So we bust our asses, working to achieve maximum discipline. We implement strict routines, adopt overwhelming processes, and use industry “hacks” to ensure we are our most disciplined selves. But then, when we inevitably slip up–when one tiny (or not so tiny) thing throws us off our game and we’re not perfectly disciplined–it’s a giant slap in the face. Why? Because it’s a blow to our self-worth.

We consider every missed meeting, every wrong step, and every unfinished task, evidence of our incompetence and unworthiness. And we develop internal narratives that constantly tell us that the reasons we failed are because we didn't try hard enough, or we didn’t work hard enough.

But lack of discipline does not mean that you are not worthy. It only means that discipline may not be the right tool for you.

We get so caught up in the toxic-productivity culture perpetuated by capitalism, that we hyper-focus on discipline and forget about our own magic. We get so caught up trying to be productive–we forget that we can also be creative, empathetic, strategic, resourceful, or whatever makes us unique. 

By subscribing to this rigid form of discipline–without creativity, flexibility, or connection–you’ll eventually find yourself exhausted and uninspired. And that exhaustion and lack of inspiration often transform into internalized feelings of shame and inadequacy—hello imposter syndrome.

But by allowing yourself to be creative, flexible, and connected with your own style of discipline, you are acknowledging and taking action on your real worth, not the idea of worth sold by society.

you can (and should) do the damn thing on your own terms

If you tried to be “disciplined,” and it backfired, you are not alone. We’ve done it too: we saw something work for someone else and tried to do exactly as they did without taking into consideration how we work best. But imagínate what could happen if, instead of doing things like you are “supposed” to, you tapped into your way and remained open to continually shifting as time passes?

The path to success is not one-size-fits-all, and there’s a lot more to it than a “work hard, stick to the process, and everything will work out.” Newsflash! By following this warped definition of discipline, you’re missing out on an opportunity to work in ways that feel aligned and invigorate your energy.

But what does that look like?

First thing first, even before dusting yourself off and starting on a new foot: please, let go of your shame and give yourself some love.

• If you aren’t able to keep up with a workout routine, it’s ok.

• If who you once were is no longer the person you are now, it’s ok.

• If your original plan of action for your business is no longer cutting it, it’s ok.

• If you can’t keep up with emails and feel bad for not being “disciplined” enough, it’s ok.

• If you can’t manage all the tasks you need to do in a day, it’s ok.

• If you (fill in the blank), IT’S OK.

The fact that some new routines or habits aren’t sticking is not a determining factor of your worthiness. It’s a sign from the universe telling us something we already know in our hearts: nothing lasts forever, flow with what life gives you to grow in new ways.

When this happens, instead of falling into the shame spiral, or trying to be more disciplined in the same way that is not working, take a minute to listen to what you need and change shit up in a creative and flexible way.

motivation matters

If you already started a business or are in the process of starting one…you know your shit. You had the courage to do something from your heart and mind, and are brave AF. You deserve all the flores.

Not only starting but also maintaining a business requires you to find ways to keep the spark of motivation alive. Does this mean that you have to try and be motivated in the same way as when you began? Absolutely not! We’re humans! Our schedules, routines, and discipline “hacks” don’t always work the exact same way, the exact same day… and that’s ok.

Feeling motivation sometimes means invoking faux-inspiration. For the times you have to take care of the tasks that you can’t stand or have to complete a project that has been sitting on the backburner for way too long… we’ve got a couple of ideas to add to your motivation toolbox.

curate your habit:

Ever heard the phrase, “out of sight, out of mind?” It’s the reason we’re huge fans of putting the things you need to do in places where you can actually see them. This helps you remember that you have something important to do and puts it in front of your eyes—making it harder to forget and/or avoid.

treat yourself:

Pair tasks that you avoid with something that makes you feel really good! We hate balancing our business spreadsheets at the end of the month BUT when we pair it with treating ourselves to a nice dinner upon completion or doing the work at a nice cafe, the energy changes into something positive and repeatable.

expand your discipline “hack” repertoire:

Sometimes it’s inevitable that our most trusted processes just aren’t working like they used to. We encourage you to bring in new ways of motivating yourself by having a list or toolbox of practices that help you stay focused. There are tons of things you can do IRL and online to help channel this energy. Make a folder and add in your ideas!

change it up:

And lastly, don’t be afraid to listen to what you need in the present. If you need a walk in the middle of the day to reinvigorate yourself and feel the urge to do so, go for it. But if that is what you are accustomed to doing and it is no longer working, try something new and shake it up. Go to your “hack” repertoire and allow yourself to get curious and flexible about what works for you in the now.

systems help bridge the gaps

So let’s say you’ve done the work to expand your motivation toolkit with discipline hacks, and you’ve allowed yourself to be flexible with your routine and tap into your creative processes. You’ve dealt with the past patterns that weren’t working, made changes, and told imposter syndrome to sit TF down. Felicidades!

But now, what’s next? How do you move forward to not let the old and outdated ideas of discipline sabotage your flow?

You stay open to growing and you can add tech systems that support you in the way you want and need. By putting new systems into place for time management, tasks and repeated actions or including more visual aids into your schedules, you are creating a framework that does the lifting that made you doubt your potential in the first place.

Remember, it’s not about the discipline you lack as much as the support you need to be your best, feel less stressed, and show up and show out in your business and life. 

Trust us, we’ve been there. ¡Tú puedes con esto y más!